Day .... month .... year ....,
Christmas is coming. I am so satisfied and excited. I will have lots of shopping work to do because I enjoy decorating my house, especially before X'mas and New Year. By the way, my hubbie is soooo sweet. Today he came home with a gift for me. He rarely buys me present so I was very surprised. I feel loved and I love him sooo much. I love Christmas =)

Day .... month .... year ....,
Tomorrow night is Christmas Eve. I'm gonna finish decorating my lovely house soon. Just a few more things to do. My hubbie gave me another surprise today. He came home with a big bunch of roses, he has never done that since we married. That is really sweet of him. How could I never realised the romantic side of my husband before?
-----
(same day, continue)
I sense something is not right. As soon as I told him I want to send the kids to my mom's house and enjoy a great X'mas night with him, he looked afraid. I asked him if something was wrong, and yes indeed, something was wrong. "There is an important meeting tomorrow night and the client is a busy man. He will stay for only one night and then fly back to his country the next morning. I have to attend it. I'm sorry honey" - he said.

Meeting! Meeting! Meeting! Always meeting! *sigh* Anyway, since I couldn't do anything to help the situation. I told him: "Well then I and the kids will stay with my mom tomorrow night. After the meeting, come and fetch us ya". He smiled and said: "Of course, I will come immediately after the meeting". And I said: "As long as it's not after midnight", but I still feel not right. I am not really paranoid, that's the fact. But this feeling is really annoying me. Really really annoying to me.
-----
(same night)
There are many lies going on in this house. They all come from me! I told my mom that I wanted to send the kids to her house so that I can go to church with my husband on the Christmas Eve. I told my husband that I and and my kids would stay with my mom and wait for him to fetch us. I know what I am doing. This is so weird. But that's what it should be. That's the only thing can make me feel better.

Day .... month .... year ....,
I am gonna be very busy. I just knew that. My husband is going to leave the house very soon. He seems very eager. I guess it must be a big contract. Anyway, I sent the kids to my mom's house early this afternoon and came back to "take a few stuffs". Actually I came back just to see him. Oh now he's ready to leave.
----
(Christmas Eve)
So he said bye to me and left. As soon as he drove away, I jumped in my car and started to follow him. I know this is not right. Shame on me. But I had no choice. A woman's 6th sense doesn't allow me to let this go easily. So I followed him to the city center. It's so crowded tonight. I parked my car and still walked behind him. I was wearing a Santa Claus suit. It was so funny that I bought that suit to make our X'mas Eve a memorable night and a few days later I had to use it to stalk my husband.

He crossed the road and stood there, took out his phone and called someone, maybe his colleague. My heart almost stopped beating everytime he looked at where I was standing. But I guess he couldn't recognise me. Suddenly he looked amazingly happy and started waving his hand. I turned my head to see and almost collasped when I saw a young and beautiful girl ran toward him and hugged him. They talked happily and started walking together. People kept walking pass me, some even hit me and laughters were everywhere. I just stared at two of them from a distance away. My legs were shaking and I couldn't even breath although it was not really cold at that time. Finally, my legs started moving. I just continued following them. Every step I took, I felt like someone was stabbing me, stabbing my little heart.

They looked just like a couple on the streets. He bought her flowers. They had a lovely and romantic dinner in a restaurant that we have never been to before. They went to the cinema. I kept following them. In the end, as I expected, he took her to a hotel not in the city. The manager smiled and welcomed them happily. It seemed like my husband and that girl are long time customers there. I just stood there, outside of the hotel, under the big X'mas tree, looking at them as they started walking upstairs, hands in hands. I looked at the building. There were a few rooms that had lights on. I asked myself: "How many men have told their wives that they need to attend an important meeting and ended up entering this hotel with other girls?".

I just wanted to rush in, shout my heart out, slap the bitch, scratch the face of the man that I have been staying with for years. I just wanted to let the world know what a liar and unfaithful man he is. But I was just standing there. I took my phone out and read through my number list. I started sending sms wishing merry X'mas to numbers that I didn't even realise who they belong to, except for my husband's number. I received many replies too, but I read without having a single thought. Suddenly I received a phone call. It was my mom. She asked me when I and my husband would come to fetch the kids. I lied to her, I said it was too crowded and we might come back a little late. I looked at the room windows on the hotel building again. Which one had my husband in it???

It was almost 11pm. I was still standing outside, waiting patiently. I decided to send a message to my husband. I typed: "When will the meeting finish? If you have already finished, I have been waiting outside, under the X'mas tree". A few minutes later, I saw him walking out of the hotel, he didn't dare to look at me and I just kept quiet, waited for him and walked away together silently.

.............

All I can remember is I fainted after a few minutes seeing him walking out of that hotel. Now I'm lying here on a hospital bed. I opened my eyes, seeing him holding my hand and pressed it against his tearful face. He said sorry to me, lots of times. He kept repeating it continuously. I told him, softly: "As long as it's not after midnight", just like what I told him yesterday. Tears started falling down on his face. I turned around, faced the other side of the room. I didn't want to see a man crying.

This Christmas was too cold for me, for both of us. I heart has frozen because of what I witnessed and I know my husband has a life to fix it.

-translated by Rita, story taken from a Vietnamese site-

P/S: I cried after reading this. A woman's forgiving heart is always a lovely and precious asset in a family. Not many of us women can calmly behave when the husband cheats on us. I can't guarantee how I will be, hopefully as good as possible. But I hope men understand how faithfulness is important to us and to our families.

Remember, any man has chances to cheat on his wife/girl, no matter how poor, how short, how fat, how smelly, how dirty, how ugly, how stupid, etc. he is. My question here is: "Your dick is up for the challenge, how about you?". "Control" is the Golden Keyword!!!

To help prevent cheating on your wives/girlfriends, read this article. CLICK HERE!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>>>>>>>>> ERM CLICK THIS??!!

1. When presented with the ideal cheating scenario—that is, if a flying saucer lands in the cornfield where you happen to be standing and a female alien of sinus-clearing hotness slithers down the ramp and declares that she wants to come in peace a minimum of four times in the next hour, and you take her up on it because you know no one will ever find out—no one must ever find out.

2. Someone will always find out.

3. If you get caught, the law is on your wife's side. And you won't lose just half of your stuff. The other half—the golf clubs, the surround sound, the Armani—will be destroyed in a spectacular driveway bonfire as every angry woman you know toasts marshmallows shaped like your testicles.

4. And if you're not married? Your longtime girl is bound by no law.

5. Yes, traveling for busines is lonely. Phone home for a bicoastal quickie.

6. Or, to paraphrase Neil Simon, do to yourself what you would otherwise do unto others.

7. If a woman who knows you're spoken for comes on to you, it's flattering. It's tempting. But remember that she's doing it to feed her own ego, not yours. She wants to see how much power she holds over you. And if you take her bait, she then knows she must be superior in every way to your sweetie. Deep down, she has nothing but contempt for both your male weakness and your mate's existence. That should really piss you off.

8. According to the Shari'ah, the laws of ancient Islam, adulterers must be stoned to death. Before you say, "Dude, cool," we mean with rocks. In these parts, that's what will happen to your good name. Friends you made while you were a couple will disappear. Friends you had as a single guy are long gone. That leaves you with the hard drinkers.

9. You're about to be with the kind of woman who wants to be with the kind of man who would cheat on a woman. (Rita says: "One day she may cheat on you too. Ouch!!!")

10. Channel all temptation toward the girl you left at home. Example: When out for a night with the boys, go to Hooters, not a strip club or roadhouse. Hooters girls are the unsung heroines of relationship therapy—gorgeous, chatty, and so untouchable that you always go home hungry. Your gal has no idea her sex life will improve tenfold when you get there.

11. At the office party, pretend the coworker who's flirting with you has gonorrhea.

12. "I'm famous for all the wrong reasons." —Joey Buttafuoco

13. If your ex calls, enjoy a pleasant 5-minute conversation. Then tell her your wife's on the other line.

14. Treat your temptation as a cage match. Defeating that treacherous organ between your legs is the ultimate triumph of man over nature. It's you versus your penis. He's up for the challenge. Are you?

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1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for me = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

[Source: Men's Health]

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1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.

2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.

3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.

4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.

5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.

6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.

7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me—once.

8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.

9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.

10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.


11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.

12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.

13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.

14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.

15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.

16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.

17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.

18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?

19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.

20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.

21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.

22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.

23. You’re really bad at faking it.

24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.

25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.

26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.

27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.

28. Unless we're meeting my parents.

29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.

30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.

31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.

32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."

33. We love ponytails.

34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.

35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.

36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.

37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.

38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.

39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.

40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.

41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."

42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.

43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.

44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.

45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.

46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.

47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.

48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"

49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.

50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

[Source: Men's Health]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>>>>>>>>> ERM CLICK THIS??!!

Bear in mind that we are talking here about the overall sex drive of all men as one group and all woman as another. Individual sex drives vary from person to person. An individual woman may have a high sex drive and a man may have a low drive, but these are minority case and do not reflect the vast majority. Overall, most men have higher sex drive than most women.

A study at Kinley Institute showed that 37% of men think about sex every 30 minutes. Only 11% of women think of it as often. For a man, a continual high dose of testosterone keeps his drive high and this is why, when it comes to sex, he's ever ready.

When it comes to sex, women
need a reason; men need a place.

The shaded area on the graph are where most men and women argue about sex.

Until her late 30s, a woman will complain that a man constantly puts pressure on her for sex, causing resentment on both sides. She will often accuse him of "using" her. It's not until her late 30s that a woman's sex drive matches a man's sex drive, and often surpasses it. Her drive is nature's way of pushing her into last minute childbearing urges before the onset of menopause. A man in his early 40s can often be caught by surprise by this role reversal. His sex drive maybe lower than a woman's of the same age while her level of assertiveness may be higher. Many men complain about having to "perform on demand". The boot is now on the other foot, so to speak. We recommend you read Good Loving, Great Sex by Dr Rosie King and Mars and Venus In The Bedroom by Dr John Gray. Both books offer excellent techniques and strategies for handling sex drive differences. Most couples don't address these differences and each expects the other to understand their needs, but that's not how nature planned it.

Men and women have different sex drives, and most couples experience different levels of sex drive at different times in their week, month and year. It may be fashionable to suggest that modern men and women are equally interested in sex, or that normal couples are perfectly matched sexually, but that's not the way it is in real life.

Despite what the poets write and the romantics might think, sex drive results from the cocktail of hormone that creates the feeling we call sex drive and love is a combination of chemical and electrical reactions. Those who think that love is all in the mind are partially correct. For women, the psychological factors such as trust, closeness and overall well-being all combine to create the conditions under which the hormone cocktail is released by the brain. Men can release this cocktail anytime, any place.

Studies carried out on American University campuses showed that when an attractive woman approaches a man and asks him to go to bed with her, 75& say yes, whereas no women said yes when approached by an attractive man.

[Source: Why men don't listen and woman can't read maps by Allan + Barbara Pease]

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Male sex drive is like a microwave - it ignites instantly and operates at full capacity within seconds, and can be turned off just as quickly when the meal is cooked. Women's sex drive is like an electric oven - it heats slowly to its top temperature and takes a lot longer to cool down.

The following graph shows the sex drives of average men and women throughout their lifetimes. It has not been adjusted to reflect the various periods in life where drives may be higher or lower based on environmental factors such as births, deaths, courtship, retirement, and so on. To demonstrate sex drive different we've simplified this graph to illustrate the differences.

A man's testosterone level slowly decreases as he gets older and his sex drive decreases accordingly. The average woman's sex drive gradually increases so that her sexual peak is between the ages of 36-38, which explains the "toy boy" syndrome of the older woman/younger man. Younger men have the physical performance level an older woman craves. A man's sexual performance level at age 19 is more compatible with a woman in her late 30s to early 40s. You will also notice on the chart that the sex drive of a man in his 40s is compatible with a woman in her early 20s which partly explains the older man/younger woman combination. There is usually a 10 to 20 year age difference between these older/younger combinations.

When we say a man's sex drive peaks at age 19 and falls in later life, we are talking about his physical performance level. His interest in sex is usually high for most of his life, meaning that he can be just as interested at 70 as he was at 30 but his performance level is not as high.

A woman can be very interested in sex in her late teens (because of its relationship to love) but feel limited desire for sex. She can have the same interest in her 30s but at that time she also has a greater desire for it.

[Source: Why men don't listen and woman can't read maps by Allan + Barbara Pease]

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A woman's hypothalamus is much smaller than a man's and she only has small amounts of testosterone to activate it. This is why women, overall, have significantly lower sex drive than men and are less aggressive. So why didn't nature create women as a raving nymphomaniac to ensure continuation of the species?

The answer is in the long period of time it takes to conceive and to raise a child to self-sufficiency.

In species such as rabbits, for example, the gestation period is only six weeks and the newborn bunnies are capable of feeding themselves, running and hiding within two weeks. There is no need for father rabbit to be there to defend or feed them. A new born elephant or fallow deer is able to run with the herd shortly after they are born. Even our closet cousin, the chimpanzee, will survive if orphaned after six months.

For a significant part of the nine-month human pregnancy period, most women are physically restricted and it takes at least five years before a human can feed and defend itself. For this reason, women closely analyze a potential father's traits such as his ability to provide food and shelter and fight off enemies.

Some men think that parenting
ends with conception.

A woman's brain is programmed to find a man who will make a commitment to being around long enough to rear her children. This is reflected in what woman look for in a long-term partner.

[Source: Why men don't listen and woman can't read maps by Allan + Barbara Pease]

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Where does marriage fit into the lifestyle of an animal species that has a biologically promiscuous male?

Promiscuity is wired into a man's brain and is a legacy of his evolutionary past. Throughout human history, wars greatly diminished the numbers of men so it made sense to add to the size of the tribe as often as possible. The number of men returning from battle was usually lower than at the start. This meant that there was always a large number of widows, so creating a harem for the returning males was an effective survival strategy for the tribe.

Giving birth to boys was seen as a wonderful event because additional males were always needed to defend the community. Girls were a disappointment because the tribe invariably had an excess of females. This is the way it was for hundreds of thousands of years. In addition, modern man is still equipped with a large hypothalamus and enormous amounts of testosterone to fulfill his ancient urge to procreate. The reality is that men, like most primates and other mammals, are not biologically inclined to complete monogamy.

The huge male-oriented sex industry offers pertinent proof. Practically all pornography, erotic videos, prostitution and X-rated Internet images are directed at men, showing that while most men can live in a monogamous relationship, their brain wiring demands polygamous mental stimulation. It has to be understood, however, that in discussing men's urge to be promiscuous, we are talking about biological inclinations. We are not promoting promiscuous behaviour or providing men with an excuse for infidelity. We live today in a world that is completely different to that of our past, and our own biology is often completely at odds with our expectations and demands.

Human biology is
dangerously out of date.

The fact that something may be instinctive or natural doesn't mean that it's good for us. The brain circuitry of a moth gives it an instinctive attraction towards bright lights and this allows the moth to navigate at night using the stars and the moon. Unfortunately, the modern moth is also living in a world that is dramatically different to the one in which it evolved. We now have moth and mosquito zappers. By doing what is natural and instinctive, the modern moth flies into the zapper and is incinerated instantly. In understanding their biological urges, modern men have a choice of avoiding self-incineration as a result of doing what comes naturally.

There's a small percentage of women who are as promiscuous as men, but their motivation is usually different to that of men. To be turned on sexually, the brain circuity of the nest-defending human female responds to a range of criteria other than just the promise of sex.

Most women want a relationship or at least the possibility of some emotional connection before they feel the desire for sex. Most men don't realise that once a woman feels an emotional bond has been created, she will happily bonk his brains out for the next three to six months. With the exception of the rare percentage of nymphomaniacs, most women feel the strongest urge for physical sex during ovulation which can last several days or several hours.

If unrestrained, most men would fall into a bottomless pit of mindless fornication to guarantee survival of the tribe. A survey conducted by the American Health Institute showed that 82% of boys aged 16-19 said they liked the idea of participating in an orgy with strangers, while only 2% (two percent) of girls felt the same. The rest found the idea appalling.

A woman wants lots of sex with the
man she loves. A man wants lots of sex.

[Source: Why men don't listen and woman can't read maps by Allan + Barbara Pease]

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Men's enthusiastic and impulsive sex drive has a clear purpose - to ensure that the human species continues. Like most male mammals, he had to evolve with several elements for its success.

Firstly, his sex drive had to be intensely focused and not easily distracted. This would allow him to have sex under almost any conditions, such as in the presence of potential threatening enemies, or in any place where a sexual opportunity presented itself.

A man needed to be able to ejaculate as often as possible in the shortest space of time to avoid being caught by predators or enemies.

He also needed to spread his seed as far as afield and as often as possible. The Kinsey Institute in the US, world leaders in human sex research, reported that, without society's social rules, they believe nearly all men would be promiscuous, as 80% of all human societies have been for most of human existence.

Since the arrival of the age of monogamy, however, men's biological urge has caused constant mayhem for couples trying to build a relationship and is the number one cause of modern relationship problems.

[Source: Why men don't listen and woman can't read maps by Allan + Barbara Pease]

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